Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Blog 4: Ship come back, we got a pig

As I was waking up in the morning the sky had blues and pink and opalescene of colors in the air. i started to walk around and heared littleuns whimper becuase they can't reach no fruit from the trees. I walked to the bathing pool and I was thinking how life would like back home and if every thing and everybody is okay. Simon and Piggy can in the pool also and we started to talk. all the littleuns was having mirages everyday of bright colors that made them scared. talking to simon made me fell like nothing can go wrong. I think I spoke to soon. out of no where I say smoke and I heard a loud noise that sounded like nails on a chalkboard a shrill noise it sounded familiar but I couldn't recall it then I heard and now I know the noise it must be a ship . It was a ship. I jump out of the water and started to run as fast as flash the cartoon character. I ran super fast with Simon and Piggy right behind me but the ship wasn't stopping. I started to yell " Ship come back, Come back ship!" I was trying to understand why it wasn't stopping didn't they see the fire.

As I was running I didn't see no fire. no fire that means the ship couldn't see us.
I didn't understand why didn't the people that need to keep the fire going keep the fire going. I made no sense if you have a job, you need to do. then I hear a a noise like a group of boys coming home from school on their first day. I looked to see who it was and it was jack and some of hunters and they also had Sam and Eric with them holding a pig on their shoulders. this was preposterous that they left the fire to go hunting. Jack walk up to me and said, " Guess what, I killed a pig and I was proud of myself." He said " do you want to know how it happend?" he asked and I didn't say a word. " this how it happend, we was there behind a bush and the pig was right there didn't even see us coming then we jump out and made a circle. the others was holding it down as I cut the throat." the whole time he was telling me the story all I could think of was the fire going out. I looked at jack then I looked at the pig then at the mountain where the fire might have been. I looked at jack again and I said in a quiet voice " the fire is out, why is the fire out" jack looked at me and said " Can you repeat and say it louder" so I did " I said that the fire is out why is the fire is out?!" Jack looke at and said " I thought you was going to say something about the pig the irrelavance to the topic did you even hear what I was talking about."

I yelled back at him " I heard you but did you hear me who let the bloody fire out, we might have went home today?" now my face was a red as a tomato.
Jack looked surprised for some reason" what do you mean we might have went home today?"
I replied" there was a ship that passed by and they see us because the idiots that need to watch the fire didn't because they was to busy hunting."
Jack looked and said "I'm sorry about the fire we will make it again" he said in incredulously voice.

we went on the mountain and they started to make he fire again. everyone was silent and no one said a word. Jack sarted to cut some pieces of the pig and cooked some and was handing some out to everyone except for Piggy. Piggy implication was that he need some meat to because he was there but the only reason Jack didn't give Piggy any meat was because he was fat. piggy got really mad at the fact. Jack gave him a small piece of meat. Piggy said something that made Jack mad. Jack stood up and gave Piggy a pretty hard hit on his head which made him hit his head on a tree and broke on side of his glasses. I felt like just punching jack but I didn't want a big fight happening. has soon has Jack hit Piggy he have jack a malevolous look. Jack did a gyration movement around Piggy and everyone was laughing except for simon and I. I stood up and said this calls for a meeting.

1 comment:

Mr. Shaddox said...

Kadijah,

Great journal! You successfully integrated the vocab into your story and wrote a compelling journal from Ralph's perspective.

REVISION:
Three things to focus on as you revise this journal:
1) Capitalize "i" and all proper nouns (names)
2) Eliminate double negatives - "I didn't see no" should become "I didn't see any."