Monday, February 4, 2008

Blog 3: Huts or hunting

That Ralph who does he think he is tell him that I need to help out with making the huts. I'm a hunter and I hunt pigs. Pig hunting is my life. when I walk into the jungle I can fell the tendrils going over my sunburned back. I give the ground a furtive look as i spot pig prints on the warm ground. when i was hunting i step on a barb and i was bewilder. why was there a barb in the middle of a jungle that makes no sense to me at all. what makes ralph was great that he was the leader, only if I was leader I would get the respect that i need. I fell so oppresive by the others. It's not fair i should have been leader. if i was leaders we would have build hut long time ago then we would have more time to hunt and have fun. Ralph is flaunting that he is leader but not really doing anything to make sure everyone is doing their part.Ralph bewilders me alot. he will say one thing but will do another thing. i just want to say make up your mind.the kids on the island are inscrutable they don't understand a thing you tell them. After trying to tell Ralph we should do thing my way i took a bath and the water had a glimmer to it form the sun shining on it. I alo say festoon huts all over the beach. why don't no one listens to me. i just as to try harder to get the respect i need and deserve.

2 comments:

kkaufman said...

Kadijah Your description of tendrils rubbing on Jack's sunburned back is a powerful image. I also like how you describe Ralph's uncertainty by saying one thing and doing another.
Kira

Anonymous said...

Hello Kadijah,

On the first sentence I kind of got confused, "That Ralph who does he think he is tell him th"at I need to help out with making the huts."

Maybe you can say, "That Ralph, who does he think he is? Telling me to help out with the huts."

There were a few miss spelled words and some sentences that did not make sense. But overall I think it was GREAT!!! You are a great writer but sometimes a writer needs to check over it sometimes just to get the feel of his/her story.

Sheryl :]